I'm so fucking centered right now
i just google imaged poop.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
