Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
