i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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