how do flat chested girls get laid?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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