Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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