i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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