whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
