he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
