Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
