True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have fence marks all over my body
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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