She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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