I just gift wrapped bread.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
