Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
