Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
soo... how was my night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
