he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
