U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
