why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
