We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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