Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
im on a boat
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