I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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