I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
