I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
