I like to think it a success when the cops are called
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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