how can u be prego again
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
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I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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