it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
