dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
