Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
