Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
