I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
