Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's rum buckets o'clock
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
