you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
