This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize