i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
