I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
