around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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