At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize