Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
accomplished twins. life is a go
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
