how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
