I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We need a shit load of segways right now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
