let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
