I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
