i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
