I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize