Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
