Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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