God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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