dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
