i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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