I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
