Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
