Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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