I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
