at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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