saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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