Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
