I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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