i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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