He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did I show you my penis last night?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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