I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
