i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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