If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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