This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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