I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
