She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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