I don't think brook has ever known best
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
