I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize